trapped inside a pretty little lie
by thecivilunrest
Summary: Thin ice breaks easily. Teddy/Victoire


**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Harry Potter. _The title comes from the talented band Anberlin.

**A/N: **So, this is for Persephone's flower, who requested this characterization of Victoire with Teddy. If it's not shippy enough for you, dear, I can always write another one. I'd _like _to write another one. This is a continuation of my Lily/Teddy fic, _all fun and games, _but you don't really have to read that fic to understand this one. Reviews are appreciated.

_Trapped Inside a Pretty Little Lie_

If I hadn't just seen that I wouldn't have believed it. But there they were, in their glory, Lily's legs wrapped around his waist and his mouth on hers and _oh God this hurts. _That was one thing that I hadn't been expecting today.

I have to stop myself to keep from sobbing. I don't want to shatter in front of all of these people, but I can tell that my cracks are very visible. If they looked hard enough anyone could see them, but I keep my head up until I'm in the kitchen alone.

I don't even know if Teddy came after me, and I know that I shouldn't care what he does now, but the fact is that I do because I can't help it. I want him to come and tell me that it was all a mistake, that it wasn't what it looked like. I want him to lie to me, to whisper that everything's going to be just fine and stroke my hair like he used.

Just thinking about that makes me picture the way that Lily's hands were in his hair and I can see the way that Teddy practically devoured her mouth with his. It makes me sick, physically sick, to picture them together like that. Lily was always the baby of the family and now it's quite evident, to me at least, that she's grown up.

I can feel the bile bubbling in my throat and all of a sudden I'm leaning over waste bin and chocking on my own vomit. I can taste the second piece of Dominique's birthday cake, the one that I shouldn't have eaten, as well as the acidic taste of bile and everything that I had eaten today seemed to make its way into the trash can.

By the time that I'm done I stand up and wipe my mouth with a crumpled up dirty napkin that I found on the kitchen table and Nana Weasley is right beside me. "Victoire?" she asks, her voice soft and her eyes so full of concern that it makes me want to start crying again. This is the woman that I would run to when I scrapped my knee on the rocks out over by the pond, the woman that cried with me over my first broken heart, the one that cried for me when I became so overwhelmed with life that I buried myself. And now here she is again, trying to put me back together again. "Are you okay?"

I lie because I know that if I start to tell her everything all hell will break loose, as well as all of my tears, and I can't do that. I don't want Nana to fight my battles for me, I just want things to go back to the way they were before I saw Lily and Teddy together in that room. "I'm fine. I'm just not feeling well."

For a terrifying moment I think that she might realize that I'm hiding something for her, but she doesn't say anything while she gets me some stomach settling potion. I swallow the pink liquid without comment and I can tell that she's still watching me. I have to keep myself from seeping out of the seams but I can't do it for much longer.

"I need to go outside. I'm sorry," I tell her and run out the back door. She lets me go because I'm a grown woman now and she can't help me and she knows it.

I run run run as far and as hard as I can before I have to stop and breathe, my heart pounding and lungs begging for oxygen. I'm running from Teddy, from everything that he's done to me, when I realize that I've just run to the place that Teddy and I used to play in together whenever we were kids.

This is a sign that he's everywhere. No matter how hard or fast or far I run he will always be there; I'll never get rid of him.

Just thinking that makes tears roll down my face with percision, one right after another after another after another. The tears soon turn to sobs and I sink down onto my knees, unable to hold myself for another second.

I loved him. I loved him so damn much and he didn't even care. He threw me, threw us, away and all for Lily, my cousin. My _family_. He didn't even care about the fact that he was hurting me. All I had asked him for was some time, some compassion, and he couldn't even give me that.

I was Victoire Weasley, after all, the jewel of the family. Whatever I did was reflected upon my family so I couldn't be anything less than perfect. But being perfect made me turn into a creature of the arctic, and I just couldn't handle that anymore.

I imploded, caving in on myself. I stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped thinking properly. I was a mess and no matter how much Teddy begged, how much my sister pleaded, I couldn't get back to normal. I couldn't be perfect ever again.

All that was left over was the shell of a girl. The shell didn't quite fit right and there are cracks in it, but I was slowly getting better. Teddy understood that, he told me that he realized that I would need someone by my side and he was ready to be that person. He was going to hold my hand through my recovery and slowly but surely while I healed he was there almost every step of the way.

I realize that his absences were probably due to Lily, and that just makes me want to vomit all over again. Did he love her because she was whole and beautiful and fire to my brokenness and cold? Did he want her because she could give him anything he wanted it whenever he wanted it and I couldn't?

Teddy lied to me. My Teddy, the boy that I had fallen in love with and had stayed in love with, even through all of those years at Hogwarts where he ignored me, after barely seeing him while he went through his intense Auror training. He couldn't even extend that courtesy to me, and that wasn't fair.

What did I ever to deserve this? In my past life I must have been a serial killer for all of the pain that I keep getting. But I couldn't hate him. I knew that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hate him, because that was impossible.

We had been best friends when we were small, you never saw one without the other. Teddy and I were a lot like Dominique and Lysander, but I had thought that we were different because we were older and wiser. But then Teddy went off to Hogwarts, leaving me and all of his childish ways behind, and Dom and Lysander and been together, leaving me all alone, just like always.

I wrap my arms around my legs and try to keep myself from caving in. I can't afford to do that a second time, I just can't. I have no more sick days and if I miss another day my internship will be completely shot to hell. I won't do it just because of Teddy Lupin.

"Tori." I hear his nickname for me and it takes all of my willpower not to turn towards him. Of course he would find me. Of course. I should have gone to a better hiding spot, but to be honest I had thought that he had forgotten about this place. The last time that we had come here we had been six. I had even let the memories slip my mind, only to have them come back to the surface today.

For a moment I wish that I knew how to take out memories, the way you would for a Pensive. All of the memories of Teddy Lupin and I, sharing and caring and declaring childishly about how we were going to end up married and live in a blue house, because that was Teddy's favorite color. But I wouldn't save them, I wouldn't want to relive them again. Instead I'd release them into the air, let them disintegrate into nothing, the way I wanted to right now.

Obviously Teddy has already done that if the way that Lily's hand was in his pants was any indication.

When I don't respond I can practically feel his disappointment. I want to laugh at him, but I just can't do it. Did he expect me to have my arms and heart open? No, not for him, not again. "Tori." He tries again and I can feel him walking closer to me, but I still don't turn around. I don't know if I can look at him without crying ever again.

Teddy places his hands on my shoulders, comfortable with putting them there, and all of a sudden I just want to throw up all over his shoes, except I don't have anything else to regurgitate. I wonder just how many places he's touched _her _with those hands and the idea is so repulsive that it makes me just want to gag.

"Don't touch me." I have no idea where this voice comes from, but I can almost recognize it. This is my Ice Queen voice, the one that I used to command people at the Ministry whenever I was displeased. Any trace of warmth has fled.

I know that he hates this voice, which was always the one that I would use on him when I was extremely angry or frustrated, only it was several degrees warmer. This, however, is far below zero.

He moves his hands away from me like I've burned him and I wish that I actually had, but I had left my wand at the party because I hadn't been expecting my world to get ripped apart.

But the ice is thin, because if he tells me something sweet and caring I'm going to fracture and then break. "Why?" I hear myself say from far away. I feel oddly detached, like a member of the audience when I'm actually the star of the show. "Just, why?"

"Because I'm not good enough for you. I never have been." I turn and look at him then, and his face is so earnest that it makes my heart ache even more than its doing on its own. All he can seem to do is hurt me.

"That doesn't mean anything to me, and it's ridiculous. She was my _cousin_. I _love _her, she's _family. _And I love you." Present, not past, tense. Did he forget that whenever he was with her? Lily and I look nothing alike, I'm all blonde hair and blue eyes and angles, while she's red hair and hazel eyes with a fire surrounding her.

"I love you too, it's just that..." Teddy trails off, and I can tell by the look on his face that he's feeling horribly guilty and unsure. Teddy has never been able to hide anything from me before so I have to wonder how he managed to keep this a secret for me, for however long that this has been going on.

Probably because I never asked him to hide anything from me. I just trusted him blindly and he ran me straight into a wall.

"That what? That what, Teddy? That you weren't content with me, so you had to go off with my cousin? That you couldn't be content to wait for me while I got my feet under me? You were my rock, and now... I don't even know what you are anymore." With anyone else each word might have gotten warmer and warmer, but with me my words turned to ice and I saw Teddy have to visibly try not to shiver. It was a warm summer day, but I was surprised that it hadn't started to snow yet.

"I'm selfish. I'm selfish and wrong and sorry and guilty. You don't deserve this, Victoire. But it was just so hard watching you spiral down, and it's even harder trying to pull you up again."

"A lot of things in life are hard. You don't get to just run away like a scared little boy into the arms of someone that could make you feel better. I never asked for much, but obviously you couldn't handle that."

Teddy looks as though I've just slapped him and I wonder if he really thinks that I'm strong enough to even do that. Doesn't he see how broken I am inside, how with every passing moment the betrayal and guilt that surrounds us is making fissures on my heart? The ice surrounding me is thin and one false move and it will break.

"Please, just leave me alone." Indecision crosses his face and I know that he probably thinks that I'm going to do something self destructive, when all I really want to do is cry and cry and cry until I can't cry anymore.

And so he does, leaving me completely alone which is a fate that has destined for me from the beginning, because no one can love in Antarctica.

**A/N: **So, this was going to be tons longer and have more of a reaction to everything that happened- I was actually going to have Victoire meet Lily again and all sorts of drama, but I decided to cut it off here. I might continue this, but I'm not totally sure yet. I guess we'll see how this goes.


End file.
